Entry #3: The Great War: Garlic Bread vs. A Clump of White

I have ridiculous fear that I hate to admit and refuse to say its name to keep its anonymity, but it did save me recently.

Sometime in the fall of 2023 there was a regrettable decision made by me, at a local pizzeria. My friend and I had plans to go to a fall party later that evening where we would dress up and catch up with old friends. Prior to that, we wanted to indulge in a whole pizza with a side of garlic bread.

Image from Grandbaby Cakes

That was my first mistake. I am not your typical garlic bread enjoyer, I rarely eat it, I know my limits and my mouth is vulnerable when it comes to bad breath. But it looked freshly made and I couldn’t resist it anymore. So when I do eat garlic bread, I indulge a whole lot to make up for the times I skipped out on it. It would be alright, I assumed, because I had something that would overpower the bothersome breath I had developed.

Assuming was my second mistake. I went into my car and checked in the glove compartment for my savior, unfortunately what I was looking for was not there. I looked at my friend in horror, I had run out of gum. The party had already started and we wanted to head straight there, but how was I going to pretend like my breath was atrocious? My friend reached into her bag and held out a metal container that made a soft rattle with something inside. I saw the all too familiar colors of white outlined in red. 

Unfortunately, I am not the strongest soldier when it comes to sending in reinforcements to defeat the stinky breath. I would rather chew on something soft that begins to build up a cleaner scent, than be overpowered by the cleanliness all at once. However, I had no other choice. I shakily held out my hand to accept my fate. It was basically a clump of white powder built into a solid circle like a pill, it will just fizzle onto my tongue, but it was still my biggest fear. I popped into my mouth and felt the overwhelming sensation that immediately had the particles of bad breath wave a white flag of surrender at sight of its strength. My eyes began to water as I tried to hold out for as long as I could. I wanted to absorb as much of the clean scent it could offer.

I remember the first time something similar, but in the shape of a ring, was in my mouth. The teacher had given it to us to help wake our brains up, but I could only hold it for a few seconds before I had to spit it out. I thought of that moment and wanted to prove to myself that I can intake it until it has completely dissolved. It felt like an eternity as I tossed it around my mouth so it could reach every last stinky particle and strike it out. Eventually the battle came to an end and the sweet smell of cleanliness prevailed. I breathed out into my hand to double check and nodded at my friend. We were ready to party with good breath.

I doubt I will willingly purchase this metal tin, but it does a superior job in a quick amount of time. I have to sing its praises because it really did save me that night.